I really did not want to do this blog. Honest. I feel that flogging this woman on her comedy and her entering a flatline when she is asked to merely articulate a thought, is like running over roadkill and saying you "bagged a buck". There is something so obviously wrong with her being in any driver's seat of any radio show, critiquing anything from politicians to social mores or even pop culture, without you listening, then putting your forefingers in both ears and saying "oh, shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot!!"
She is not just merely dumb (in the purest Oxford English Dictionary definition), she is unequivocally duhhhhmmmmbbbmmmmmmmmm!!!
I once caught her act at the Comedy Club in Webster. I heard her opening for a comedian only known by his occasional mention in Trivial Pursuit: Unknowns of Comedy edition. As I listened, not laughing, she went into a routine...she went "you know what is missing in this room?" Being who I am, I yelled out "laughter!!!" and the whole room dissolved into hysterical laughter. I was thrown out for heckling, and to this day the Comedy Club says I am barred from entering the club as long as Marianne Sierk is performing. Sad. At least I actually made people laugh instead of look at their watches.
Why am I so harsh to this woman? No, it is not misogyny. It is not jealousy. It is not even curiosity.
I would walk up like Al Pacino in ...And Justice for All and gave the jury of her peers three compelling reasons why she is so dumb, that she could not articulate a fart after inhaling a bushel of cabbage with a side order of bratwurst:
- Marianne actually once asked Wease, live on the air, if Magic Johnson still had AIDS. I know, it is questions like that which would make the aliens run like thieves back to the mothership and board up the DeLorean doors. That is kind of like asking if Oscar Pistorius grew his legs back! Now, we all know Marianne has a degree from Syracuse University, as she frequently boasts on the air, but we never knew that the 'Cuse offered Bachelor's Degrees in Basket Weaving and Mediocre Comedy 101. I am glad Marianne never sought a medical degree. I mean, she would not be gracing America with her own monochromatic version of what she sees as "comedy."
- Another time on the air, Wease was discussing Van Morrison and his horrible October performance in Toronto this year. I had called in because they assumed the hit recording of Gloria was by Van Morrison and Them, but I had pointed out the hit version was by the Chicago-based rock group Shadows of Knight, who hit the top 10 in 1966 with the tune, while Them's version barely cracked the top 100 in Billboard. I had mentioned that Van Morrison's tunes were usually truncated as singles because of the length of the songs on the albums. Marianne, butting in, asked "what the hell word is that?" When it was mentioned that truncated merely is defined as a non-third grade way to say "shortened," Marianne chimed in "well, I wouldn't be using it in a conversation." Yes, Marianne, you are right, if my major small talk buddies were budding drag queens at Tilt or comedian also-rans like Ralph Tetta and Vinnie Paulino, of course you would not want their heads to explode like ripe melons with words over two syllables long. Thank you Marianne, for contributing nada yet again to a discussion, all while maintaining your en toto vapidness at least to the commercial break.
- Wease as usual was discussing the legalization of marijuana (a favorite discussion of the bongheads of the show) and they talked about outdated notions about the dangers of pot. Then the classic B-movie Reefer Madness was bought up to illustrate how the public once perceived what would occur to a person should they smoke this illicit substance. Marianne, I guess trying to add some imaginary substance to the dead air surrounding her head, inquired "wasn't Helen Hunt in that movie?" Be kind, it is a VERY easy mistake to make, since Reefer Madness came out in 1936 and Helen Hunt was born a mere 27 years later, in 1963. Hey, not everyone is a mathematician. Anyhoo, in Marianne's case, it is tragic that she going to multiply in a few months.
No, dear readers, we don't need to hear the court's verdict. We all know what it is. Unfortunately, the sentence for Rochester morning radio listeners is that we may be subjected to another couple of years of her vacuous bon mots. That, is, until the inevitable pink slip and lawsuit emanates and Brother Wease needs to chose his 244th female cohost.
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